homesick.

when you're lonely, recovering from a sicknesss, and sick of your redneck roommate and his tiring overly conservative comments... i guess you could call me a little homesick.

it's in these times that you start to appreciate home a little more. ahh how i can remember it..

when i stepped into home at norcal, you could smell the good ol' aroma of korean mom cooking, korean news going off, along with my raving uncle and his hella random comments... then you see my mom with the look of joy on her face. that was enough for me. i would just walk into my room, have a nice snackin going on to be accompanied by the nice cool breeze of the norcal winds from SF. as if that wasn't enough, my dog comes running at me with such excitement... such loving. and how pure it is, no judging to go along with it. he doesn't ask me what negative things did you do today? have you paid your rent? have you justified your way of living? no. he just runs at me and licks me, unjudging of anything. and it never gets tiring.. every single time he runs with the same joy in his heart, only to love me and lick me, wishing only to play with his owner... maybe he would call me his partner... in crime? haha i don't know, but really, i am so thankful of such a faithful and innocent companion.

setting aside the literal "home" part of homesick.. the friends of home. i couldn't ask for better friends, dongsengs, and church family. not exactly the perfect bunch of people, but they love you regardless of where you're at or where they're at. we've all been through our share of problems, struggles, and mistakes.. but who can love you better regardless of all those things than your good ol' friends? your dongsengs, they look up to you with unregarding faces, to care for you, to share in times with you, and sometimes even act like your equal.. (not that they aren't equal by any circumstances) and keep you accountable.

the times are definitely good here in korea. everyone is so very loving, even with all of the shallow relationships, or even relationships you've made, with tons of substance, there is a lot of love here in korea. you get to have an entirely new experience with entirely new people... i guess that's what kinda gets all of the couple-making going on. we think in our heads, man i've never done anything like this with anyone.. but to share this new, awesome experience with an entirely new dynamic of person.. i can't help but like them? i don't know. i'm just blabbering.

but regardless.. being alone at home here does get you a little homesick, wishing you could spend the good times with the friends you know are having good times. is it fileo type of love that i'm missing out on? i forget.. whichever ones are the ones with friends.. and the one with family. i don't miss the states by the material things... although i do miss the food, but i miss sharing in the relationships with all of the people back at home. those are all kind of at a stagnancy.

heck, one thing to not be dismissed is to carpe diem it up in here. i gotta sieze every remaining day i have in korea to the max. after recovering from this sickness, i'm ready to take on the world! here we go, koreA!

-ajc