i quit.

i have officially quit smoking.

i picked it up strong in korea, did it up really hard there, and quitting cold turkey here. man it's already a struggle, because it's literally been a routine after every meal, every time i see someone, every "breaktime", every... just find a reason to and now every time one of those things have come up it just pops in my head: smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke. but i say in my head: no, no, no, no, NO!! and i win.

for that one battle, but this is a war. a war that i am determined to win, with every battle and temptation that comes my way.

i don't know why i picked up smoking in the first place. i always kind of liked the smell, the feeling, the look. it was kind of the object of my rebellion at first, but then it slowly crept and corrupted many little pieces of my perspective. knowing i could do this, i could go further and do worse things. it's all about the idea of compromise i guess. compromise a little here, then you're more willing to compromise a little more with other things. ugh. there was much compromise in korea. and a lot of it was willing and conscious compromise. i knew what i was doing, yet i didn't care and kept with it. like knowing the sin and doing it. CONSCIOUS SINNING! -_- i'm not proud.

brothers, and sisters. i have laid this as a confession and a wish for accountability so that if you see me doing anything shady or close to smoking or even if you see me around, ask me if i've smoked since jan 1st. this is a new years/new lands resolution and i'm sticking with it! the first resolution that i plan to stick with. let's have success!

great success!

-ajc