IndIEpendent Faith. (updated 3-21)

Coming soon.

But for now:

¹⁰then know this, you and all the people of Israel: It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed.
¹¹He is " 'the stone you builders rejected, which has become the capstone.
¹²Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved."

Luke 4:10-12

dang. i really want to write in this thing.. finals. djaslkdjksad

*edit*

man, it's definitely been too long since i last wrote in this thing. finals definitely destroys your priorities.. no matter how hard you try to maintain them. there were many a time when i had a chance.. and those times i felt like i had a lot of leighway(sp?) to write them. i think i did. i kinda just put it off and then put my priorities to my studies.. which i definitely neglected ANYWAY. haha, man. at those specific times, i think it was God telling me to vent.. annnnd i didn't listen. and now i sit here, trying to ruminate on those times when i had ideas to vent and to write. but now i just draw a blank. ssttuuupid, stupiiiid me!!

God, you are the ultimate judge of me. You know my heart, where it lies in respect to everything else that I interact with, ruminate about. Yet I know I'm not living the right way. I know because of my sin, how trapped that I still am in it. How self-righteous I feel, so many times. So sinful I was this past week, yet so sinful I am. I don't say this to sound like "oh this guy is holy, or something." But I mean it from my heart. I am so selfish, so self-centered. Is it really about me? Things I think about, like "is this whole world just about me? All that I interact with? Is there REALLY a God that I am a son of?" I struggle with many human thoughts daily. But in the end, the Lord always rebukes me of my doubt. I was made to have doubts, but I still must be assured of my faith. Not because of anything that I see, anything that I do/cause, but it's truly by the full (100%) work of God. 100%. that means that although He's given us many choices in our lives, He has determined our steps before we even thought it. Before we even lived through it.

Why do i say this? Because again, I've been reminded how human I am. How awesome He is in my life. That even if I don't worship Him with everything that I am, He can be completely independent of me. That He doesn't need me to do anything, even exist. Yet we need Him for any and every ounce of our being, in every step we take, in every day we live, in every person we meet. If it were not for Him providing for us, yet allowing us "freedom of choice", we could be doing nothing that we do today. We live this way because He loved us so much and He let us do how we do. I don't think this is exactly the gospel message, but it intrigues me that the gospel is evident in everything in life.

Now, i can go back to all my previous thoughts during finals about what to write about, but just the one key thing that i remember is what I mean by the concept of "indIEpendent Faith" that I wrote as the title. I believe that God has a new plan for me this upcoming... "phase", if you will. a phase that will definitely be unlike any other person's walk.

(man my mind sidetracked real quick. but it truly amazes me that with every individual, God has a crazy, crazy plan for them to come to Him. In His way with them, He has already designed this person to meet this person, go through that situation.. then ultimately be united with Him in the very end of things. Because of how HE did it. Not because of the miniscule choices that we think we make, because we are "oh so powerful." what I mean is, it's so beautiful. Faith. our faith. my faith. your faith. God planned your story, which is 1293199x different than mine. Yet it has the same MAIN IDEA in it, which is: the gospel message, the good news. although our lives are so intricately different, our circumstances different, our drive is the same, our ultimate life message goal (if we truly, Truly believe) is the same. 100%. because that's who God is 100% the same, for everyone)

i digress... man I'm so bad at this.. this is why I freakin have such long posts.. hahha.

but as for me. i must truly believe and be independent of others in my faith. my ultimate source of dependency should be on God. i can't depend on even those around me, even though i AM surrounded by a body of believers. we are all human, we make mistakes. yet, i believe that what God has in store for me IS a little different. i mean, don't get me wrong, i won't be shutting people out of my life. but i truly believe that it is in God's plan for me to rely that much more on Him, and less on others as well as myself. that the only faith i can really have, is in Him. the Word that He has given and designed for us (to understand a small, small amount of His love, His glory) to have as assurance of His Son's return. God is a God of infinite Words. but these words are of infinite truth. infinite Wisdom. infinite. and it is the ONLY thing we can truly believe in, as much as I can believe that you are a man/woman of God. He is God.

i have so much jumbled in my head. and i think what He means for me is to clear it all out. all that junk, and just set my sights upon Him. set my sights upon His praise. never looking to another way (as the song says). God has wonderful plans for me, yet if i sit in my life thinking about all that "life" and what the world holds for mememememme, then i'll never get it right. i must put everything aside. everything. He is the only thing that is holding me in place, yes with other factors He placed in this earth, but it's all Him.

now what I don't know is exactly He's going to do that. His plans are obviously of things I can't comprehend, but i know it's going to be different. it's going to be unlike any other genre that you can explain. it's going to be indie. an indie kind of faith. now don't get offended by me if i start acting weird around you, which is probably something i don't think i will do. but if the Lord is leading me to do something, it's gotta be. ahhaa, man i sound like i'm some special guy on some special mission. i mean i am. but it's not going to be crazy... i don't think. i just want to live in as much obedience as can be. i want it to be nothing of me, though. i want it to be all Him.

To You, and to You alone be the glory.

-ajc