the end?...

of a story of a guy named Lenny.

who Lenny saw in the picture was a woman that worked with him at his internship and a man that looked to be himself. however, the picture wasn't simply just a picture of them smiling and looking at the camera... but a picture of them nearly naked and making out in a hotel room. he didn't remember this picture... or this night. he remembered that there was a night where the company threw a company party, including all of the interns. he had a lot to drink that night. and that in itself was enough for him to realize what had happened in a night that he didn't remember.

how did someone take this kind of picture of them? well i guess didn't matter at this point because the point was that what had taken place many months ago did take place. and he knew that they didn't just end up dirtily making out... but probably all the way. and if it wasn't news enough that he, Lenny... the perfect guy, had cheated on his girlfriend, but he also found out later that this girl ended up being pregnant and was looking for the father.

and of course, at this point, it was all too late. Lenny needed to take ownership for what he did. even though Lenny was the perfect guy, one choice (a drunken one, at that) can lead to a number of regretful places to be. and once you're there, you can't take them back. Lenny ended up leaving graduate school, working as an accountant for some no-name company, and married the girl he had impregnated, Lina, to carry on with the rest of his life with much regret. although he tried to make the best with what he had, it just wasn't enough... because he was the guy who had it made. he was set on his life and knew that nothing could stop him there. no one else did it to him, it was self-inflicted. that is the sad thing. even when he was in his drunken state, he still had many choices he could have made differently.. even not drinking so much to the point of losing that self-control.

now i'm not saying this is a true story, or a story that happened to me (obviously not). but a story that came to mind just as i poured out my thoughts into the version of a story. it's funny because this entire picture of the perfect life took forever to make, but it only took a few sets of sentences to tear it all down. and that's just how it is in life. you could have worked so hard to build up a certain life with so many luxuries and well.. completely being satisfied with all facets (almost all facets) of life, but it only takes a few decisions to tear it all apart. now these decisions could have been made in the lowest, highest, or drunken points of your life, but the point is that you made them. and it's not like it's excusable or anything because you are left with the consequences.

and i don't even know what i'm to do or say because i am overwhelmed with a certain gratitude.. because of the many decisions that i had made wrongly in my best and worst moments... i deserved the worst case scenario consequences.. or even some of the worst case scenario consequences. yet, i came out with a few cuts and bruises but nothing fatal... nothing to completely regret besides the decisions themselves. i know that it was God that had protected me... no, spared me in my times of stupidity. yes, i am man and i do make wrong, fleshly decisions at times and it's only normal that i mess up here and there, but i know that i have sinned against my creator and gone way too far with a lot of things.

now is the time to start the change.

now.

so that no more stupid mistakes with their consequences can happen. or at least they can be much more minimized.

anywho, the time is now.