bad days better

You have made my day,
even in stormy weather.
I'm dancing in all the rain.
cause you make bad days...

better.

today was an interesting compilation of events. i went to campus for no EXACT specific reason, but little did i know that i would be witnessing the teacher's "walk-in." it was a passionate gathering of students standing up against discrimination and i definitely felt my heart shaking as they shouted so passionately for their purpose. i for one wish that we could stand up like that for our faith.

which brings me to think about that man who holds up that sign "God hates sin" and something about repenting in a very strong, negative way. i mean yes i do agree that there is an urgency that needs to be brought up to people, but it can definitely be brought about in a more loving way. but hey, action is better than no action? maybe? actually, yes, i do believe that it is better than all of us Christians walking around this campus like ghosts, trying not to be noticed and going about our business - trying to graduate and hang out with just our friends, maybe "christian" friends to be more exact. something to chew on.

also, today i heard a message from Judah Smith at the One Heart conference in rancho bernardo. and what a shocker he was. the most unique style of preaching i've seen in a long time (aside from PT's always unique sermons, haha). but he definitely brought about the gospel message in a lovely light. bringing baout verses like genesis 48, with the crossing of Jacob's arms. i mean i don't want to ruin this message for you, because i don't want to use my inexperienced heart to relay this to you.. especially on this blog. i would much rather relay this message to you, in person. but man, i was definitely encouraged by God through this guy. if there is one thing, though, that you want to know at the very least, i would have to say: what we do in our Christian living should never be an initiation trying to do things for our relationship with God. but it should always be a response BECAUSE of Jesus' initiative. worship is a response, prayer is a response. who are we to initiate anything with the Lord, but it's Him who always initiates with us first. anything that we do on our own strength will only fall short with our faith being based on our performance.

2 Corinthians 5:21
1 John 4:19 - we love Him, BECAUSE He first loved us.

Grace is not us going to God,
but God coming down to us - through Jesus.

need i say more? i shouldn't. i feel like i'm ruining the awesome message that i was blessed to have witnessed.

anyways, yes! praise Jesus!

one thing though. today when i was talking with my roommate, i misheard something that he said, i immediately took it the wrong way and got defensive, responding in a really negative way. it's really hard to explain the situation because i'm not a good explainer, but man was i lucky that he didn't catch the negativeness that was very much pun intended.

but i realize that i do that, especially with people that i tend to be closer with. i get snappy and defensive when there's some kind of miscommunication or something that MAY have been able to have been interpreted in the wrong way. and i hate myself for that, but i feel as though it's something very difficult to change, because it just comes out sometimes. or maybe there is a way, and i just can't think of it.

i noticed this because in one of my past relationships, my (ex)girlfriend would have said something, let's just say with no connotation at all, and i automatically assuming that she meant it i the negative way to me; i would respond in a negative way; and whabam, a fight would erupt. this is not to say that i did this all the time or that this was always the reason for our fights. but it was definitely involved many times or in many ways of negative-ness. this would especially be bad when we're both very sensitive to each other's comments due to a previously recent fight, then she says something maybe with a slightly intentional negative connotation, maybe just because she was tired and there was a self-regulation/strength failure and she said it (sorry i'm getting all psychology on you) for the heck of it, but THEN i would take it in the super worst, possible case scenario and assume... then... well you know what would happen.

so i do pray and hope that God has changed this inside of me, and is still changing this inside of me, because i don't want any further broken relationships with friends, sig o's due to this.

anyways, have a good one!

-ajc