it's been.

it's been about 8 months since i've started this blog and i have to say i'm doing a lot better and being more consistent in blogging since... xanga. and that was just posting to get people's attention/get peoples eprops and comments. but this is really something i see going somewhere - something to reflect upon when i'm a little more grown up. this is something i know is true, because i'm venting and letting out some of the deepest vents from my heart, not to seek attention but maybe to seek rebuke, prayer, comfort, and sharing real-life experiences for and from other brothers and sisters who struggle in this world.

who knows, maybe this blog has touched a number of people's lives, or maybe none. i may never know - but i believe that's the beauty in it because it's all about the smallest things that people may say or do that affect your entire life direction, or just may make a great impact on the way you live your life. i dunno. maybe i'm thinking too much or getting big-headed on this. maybe i'm just prideful.

heck.

i really feel as if i'm getting to know myself so much more and really seeing the deeper side of me that both stink and are somewhat good either being modified or analyzed. instead of being so busy and so hurried and not being able to think, i can actually think more about what i'm doing and why i'm doing it. is life getting more clear? or is this the start of further complication? who knows.

anyways, birthday month is almost over.. with mine being tomorrow and ben's being 2 weeks from now. shooooot i know i'm going to get owned by my friends.. ughhhh. save me know!! i jsut pulled an all-nighter to see music-core: 2pm's comeback performance. haha. we'll see how things go.

i think i've also been appreciating the times of being more independent of people, from the smallest things of taking responsibility for waking up by myself or hanging out with people 24/7. there needs to be a balance for sure. being alone for too long or being around people for too long really comromises who you are. because you get so used to one way that you forget about you are in the other way? ugh, i don't know. i think it's more of having an affinity with people as well as keeping yourself in check along the way.

UGH IM SO TIRED. MINI NAP!

-ajc

nts. stop gaming so much.